[Why Female Bullying Is So Hard to Recognize](https://youtu.be/DL5qDFDttps?si=NFGcZ-hjcJc2115c) - Often very group based: not 1 person but 2-3 people working together. - Diffusion of responsibility. - Often work on isolating a person. - Pushing people to the gray zone. - Causing victim V to defend themselves - Bullies/B have retaliatory response. Blaming V for attacking them. - Neuroscience - Women much more sensitive to physical retaliation. Men more comfortable with physical violence = not a good deterrence. - Alcohol: female fear based circuits inhibiting physical aggression reduced. - Oxytocin increases female aggression. - EG mama bear archetype. Mothers can be incredibly aggressive to defend children. - Increased in-group/out-group effect. - What triggers a bully? - Stepping outside / making friends outside of a social circle. - Daughter making friends can make mother have bullying response to isolate child. - B will rally allies to attempt to keep V isolated. - More attractive women more likely to be bullied (35%) and bully. Due to pack tactics, women picking on higher status person. - Attractive women won’t be listened to, reduces B fear of retaliation. - Fear of sexual threat: women who are sexually threatening to men’s partners (mating competition) - Bullying much more severe in small groups 1-5; less in larger 5-15. - Harder to manipulate larger groups. - Social isolation make V more likely to stay in small groups. - What makes it safe for a bully? - Bystander effect: people don’t stand with the victim. - Need to signal to B that you’re with them without going against the B. - No blame intervention very effective. Stops retaliatory response. - Stop gray zone: show “I see you”. - Action: recruit the bystanders. - Avoid emotional over-reaction. - Be aware and witty. - Share feelings that other people can resonate with in an un emotional way. EG: "I'm not comfortable that we are leaving this person out" - Need to - Create + shape an environment with more consequences for bullying. #Female #bullying